Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why do people who were very kind and loving once become cold-hearted?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can count

I feel so attached and in love with a dead celebrity. My love for anyone else is overshadowed by my love for him. What does this mean?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Has anyone who has been a victim of a narcissist made contact with the other victims of the narcissist? Did it help to confirm what you suspected about the narcissists?

I see through liars

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Trump is going to target known criminals in the country illegally for deportation. The Democrats have vowed to fight him every step of the way. Don't they understand this is one of the issues that cost them the white house, the house and senate?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

How do I get my body in shape?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

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I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have a reading level above third grade

What are the best examples of reverse psychology?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

How can I decorate my house creatively?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Women like what they hear while men like what they see, it that true?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

How do you get started in bestiality with a dog as a male?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I gave him everything. He said he loved me. Why?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What are some alternatives to wearing a bra? Why do some women feel pressure to wear bras even though there may not be any benefits?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Do people of NYC drive around Central Park all the time? Is there any subway tunnel to cross the park quickly? Is it annoying for people and does it cause traffic?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t cotton to rapists

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fakery